Why is B2B merch so bad

Season 8, Issue 6: Imagine we all have unlimited merch budgets

📬 In this issue:

• Merch has become same-same and templated

• The best merch I’ve ever seen

• If I actually had money, what the Mehdeeka merch would be (hint: seasonal variation!)

This week’s Mehketeer referral thank you is actually all thanks to Promo Punks, who are giving one lucky Australian-based Mehketeer $500 to spend on merch (details at the bottom of this issue). Simply share this issue of Mehdeeka between now and next week to potentially get your own merch!

---

Hola Mehketeers,

B2B merch has become much the same, regardless of the brand, even down to the style of notebook since the tech boom popularised giving employees “swag packs”. A keep cup/water bottle, a notebook, a pen, a t-shirt, a tote bag, and some stickers which are usually too embarrassing and branded to actually put anywhere. Thankfully it’s been a while since I’ve seen a stress ball though!

Occasionally I do come across really good merch that makes me genuinely like the brand more. The best piece of merch I personally received recently was from Origin Energy (note: B2C, not B2B!), it was actually a box of 60 laundry sheets that had a custom paper wrap with Origin’s details on it.

Laundry sheets! It’s useful. They’re pretty expensive if you buy them from supermarkets, it’s going to do my laundry 60 times, and allowed me to try a new product. It did come in a sturdy tote bag with pockets, but that’s pretty forgettable in comparison.

The actual best part about it? It linked back to their product and brand.

I got this merch at the Everything Electric conference, where Origin Energy had a pretty large exhibition space about switching your home to solar. With an environmental message, the laundry sheets — which are packaged in cardboard, not plastic, are more compact than liquid washing detergent, and more overall environmentally friendly — matched perfectly.

What makes for good merch?

My dream merch matches all of these requirements:

• It is functional and will actually be used, and not just put in a cupboard with 100 other reusable bottles/cups/shirts

• It has minimal branding, or it’s not something like a sticker where by using it, it turns the recipient into a billboard (the removeable paper sleeve from the laundry sheets was 10/10)

• It links back to the product being promoted, or the brand messaging — and therefore increases positive sentiment

• It is high enough quality or unique enough that it makes the recipient tell other people about it

To give you an example of merch that links back to a product, when I was working at Perkbox I wanted to get custom made thank you cards that linked back to the Recognition product (essentially a digital way to give and receive recognition). My theory was that if you had a physical pack of thank you cards sitting on your desk at work (pre-covid), you’d be more likely to use them. The cards would have prompts on them to help give meaninful recognition, then both you and the person you gave it to would get a warm and fuzzy feeling from doing something good.

That warm and fuzzy feeling would build positive sentiment towards Perkbox, you’d understand the value of the Recognition product, and hopefully you’d be more interested in buying it.

Here’s another example of great merch, this time from Tracksuit, a brand tracking platform:

These luggage tags (or trackers) match the brand messaging, are high quality, the branding is subtle (it could be more subtle in my opinion, but acceptable), and it’s functional! Tick, tick, tick.

Some questions to get you thinking

Can you produce an analogue version of your product that makes the recipient want the digital version even more? (i.e. thank you notes)

Can you link (however loosely) your message, brand, or product to an everyday part of life? (i.e. laundry sheets, a desktop succulent, I got merch from a museum through the Bloomberg Philanthropies relationship with them)

Can you use persona insight to appeal to a lifestyle? (i.e. one time we did a custom merch set for a large customer which was specific to a certain element of their work environment - it wasn’t a desk-based industry, it was marine workers, so we got them waterproof stuff)

Can you tie merch to your brand values, through something charity- or socially-related? E.g. If you’re spending $20 on a t-shirt, you could instead spend that $20 on a local museum ticket!

If you’re a collaborative product, can you do something that’s relevant to groups? (i.e. a game, sporty things, etc.)

See also this Instagram post showcasing some New York Times merch. They collaborated with an illustrator to design a print celebrating the US Open, and turned it into scarves, hats, and… wallpaper.

One more merch example!

This example is from a Japanese pop trio (Perfume - if you want to check out a good intro song I recommend watching the music video for Flash) and their fan club merch from 2023 featured an item selected and produced by each of the members. This personal touch alone is excellent, complementary to the usual ugly band tees, but also one member chose to use an excellent pun…

The trio is called Perfume because all three members have the Chinese character for “aroma/scent” in their names, and the final three letters of Perfume (aka ume) is Japanese for plum… so they made a plum sauce.

Merch can be FUN!!!

What my ideal Mehdeeka merch would be

Suspend your disbelief with me for a moment and assume that Mehdeeka has enough subscribers to warrant merch this elaborate, and that shipping/storing it would not be an issue. Basically, merch would be split into summer/winter drops:

Summer merch

• A picnic blanket
  My concept for this is that it would be sent to the team/office, and a little note telling them to use it for a team lunch (or even meetings!), or keep it in the office for individuals who want to go soak up the sun during their break

• Picnic themed games/sporty things goodie bag
  A frisbee, a Kubb set, whatever, just something “team” related

The exciting thing is my picnic blanket dream has come true thanks to Promo Punks! They sent me some picnic blankets with Mehdeeka embroidered on them, and I tested one out at the park with my dog:

Winter merch

This is both WFH and office friendly

• Mini lap blankets
  Nothing worse than being cold, so a little blanket that’s just big enough to put on your lap or drape over your shoulders and keep you warm

• Reusable heat packs
  I have a wheat bag, basically a hot water bottle alternative (a fabric sack filled with literal wheat that you microwave and it retains the heat), and this is something you can partner with a charity on (like this supplier) and again, keep people warm in the office or at home - and it can be super cute like the one I have:

In terms of tying it to the Mehdeeka “product”, I just want everyone to have a better time at work, whether that’s through learning via Mehdeeka content, or literally being more comfortable while you’re at work.

---

Promo Punks details

Cheers to Promo Punks for featuring in this issue, and for providing this week’s referral/share gift. Basically, one lucky Mehketeer will get a $500 budget to spend with them on anything you like.

You’ll need to follow their minimum order quantities, and if you have leftovers with the $500, you can also put it towards the shipping costs.

The only condition is you have to tell me what you get!

---

What’s the best merch you’ve ever gotten?

Leave a comment with good merch ideas so we can all give (and receive, most importantly) better merch!! Down with bad merch!!

Till next week,

Kayla